lproven | The weekend, part III

The ride down was uneventful. I rode into the night, passing Reading at 10pm and stopping to buy some beer. Yet another worker in the alcohol trade who doesn't know what bitter is and tries to sell me lager, alcopops, cider, spirits, anything else he has saying "this bitter!" I find some elderly John Smiths and try to show him the difference.

By 11, I'd gone through Guildford and was on the road to Horsham, which would have been a lot more fun in daylight. At one point, the car far behind me turns on flashing blue lights and sirens and pelts towards me, to my instinctual guilty panic. I pull over. He hurtles past and disappears into the night.

At about 11:30, I stop for a map check at a convenient little town. By chance, I'm at exactly the point where I need to take a side road. I follow it. I need the 2nd proper turning on the right. I stop at one to look - it's a farm. Keep going. Another one! Stop suddenly - and it's the right one! Hurrah!

Amazingly, most people don't seem to hear me arrive, but shortly,

mindygoth and

mmcpoland trot up to ply me with alcohol and kisses. I feel better already.

Then Moz tells me that Kirsty and Mathias are still here. "But they said they were leaving early, to avoid me!" I protest. (I've been exchanging texts with Kirsty much of the afternoon, until I told them to just go when they wished, leave when they wished, and instead of being pointedly Not Couply, just behave as they wished. Unexpectedly, she has taken me at my word.)

aeia and

hazeii appear, just leaving. I bid them farewell.

At that exact moment, a rather drunken-looking Kjersti emerges from the farmhouse and looks at me with something very much like fear. I greet her, solemnly. I follow her and the others down into the garden.

To my surprise and pleasure, there are many people still around, even at nearly midnight. I greet

ramtops and

perlmonger and

gmul and

etriganuk and

sbisson and

marypcb and

liz_lowlife and many more.

Down at the bottom of the garden, there's a small bunch of people -

drpete,

latexiron and others, all talking quietly but happily. Kjersti heads for her boyfriend. It's hard, but I walk up, mutter a hello, grab a beer and make a hasty retreat.

There were hours more yet to come. An enthusiastic

flickgc attempts to entice me onto the bouncy castle but I resist, firmly. Unidentifiable silhouettes greet me warmly. I drank, a lot, quickly. After an hour or so, I decide I must face my fears. It's time to go and talk to the Ex and the Other Man.

Of course, at that moment, their taxi arrives. They are off to their hotel room. (Yes, what you and I guessed they were off to do, they did.)

I'm not sure if I was spared or robbed. I talk to Kjersti, briefly. She is very... tired and emotional. But still affectionate.

Then back to the boozing and a drunken, inconclusive but enjoyable argument with

etriganuk - or possibly, rather, his alter ego

etrigansys.

It was good. I'm glad I went after all.

But that's the first time I've seen Kjersti and Mathias together, out in public, and that hurt. Badly. It drives home how much I have lost, how much I have thrown away. I had to do it, but I hate that I had to. I could have done with deferring that for a little longer.