Room to let

Sadly, sinnymaker is planning to move out at the end of the month, so very soon, my spare room will be vacant again. Anyone want to rent it?

I'm looking for about £75/wk plus a share of the bills. It's a spacious furnished room with quite a bit of shelf space, a single bed & built-in wardrobes, in a 3-bed house otherwise occupied by just me. It's about a 15min fairly pleasant walk from Colliers Wood Tube on the Northern Line - Zone 3 - and I'm also near the Croydon Tramlink - close to Wimbledon and Tooting. 4Mb broadband is included in the deal, too.

If you know anyone that's looking, please spread the word around...

More air traffic controller humour

From the CIX jokes conf - so may well not be true. Amusing, though...

Control Tower

Supposedly excerpts of the most curious but authentic radio communications between Cockpit and Tower Air Controllers

Tower: "To avoid noise, please turn right 45 degrees ."
Pilot: "What noise could we possibly make at 35.000ft?"
Tower: "The noise your 707 will make when colliding with the 727 before you!"

Tower: "Are you an Airbus 320 or 340?"
Pilot: "An A 340, of course!"
Tower: "Well then, would you please start your other two engines before taxiing to take-off?"

Pilot: "Good morning, Bratislava."
Tower: "Good morning. Please note: This is Vienna."
Pilot: "I am now on landing approach to Bratislava."
Tower: "This really is Vienna."
Pilot: "Vienna?"
Tower: "Yes."
Pilot: "But why? We wanted to go to Bratislava."
Tower: "Okay. Then abort your landing approach and turn left."

Pilot from an Alitalia flight, who lost half his cockpit instruments when lightning hit him: "We nearly lost everything. Nothing works anymore. Even the altitude indicator doesn’t show anything..."
After 5 minutes complaining, the voice of another pilot comes over the
comm: "Oh shut up and die like a man!"

Pilot: "We’re running low on fuel. Please advise."
Tower: 'What is your position? We don’t have you on our scope."
Pilot: "We’re standing on runway 2 and are waiting for an eternity for the fuel truck."

Pilot: "Tower, request take-off clearance."
Tower: "Sorry, we don’t have your flightplan. Where do you want to go?"
Pilot: "Like every Monday, to Salzburg."
Tower: "But today is Tuesday!"
Pilot: "What? Then it’s our day off!"

Tower: "Height and position?"
Pilot: "I am 1.80m and I’m sitting in the front on the left side."

Tower to a private plane: "How many souls on board?"
Pilot: "Pilot, two passengers and a dog."
Tower, after a hard landing: "I take it the dog did that landing?"

Tower: "Do you have enough fuel or not?"
Pilot: "Yes."
Tower: "Yes, what?"
Pilot: "Yes, Sir!!!"

Tower: "Please give us your estimated arrival."
Pilot: "Hmmmm... Tuesday would be nice for me."

---

And...

The pilot

Taxiing down the tarmac, a DC10 abruptly stopped, turned around and returned to the gate. After an hour-long wait, it finally took off. A concerned passenger asked the flight attendant, "What exactly was the problem?"

"The pilot was bothered by a noise he heard in the engine," explained the flight attendant "It took us a while to find a new pilot."